DARVO — deeper understanding
DARVO is not a “skill” taught in healthy psychology.
It is a defensive reaction pattern most often used by people who feel threatened by accountability.
The term was identified and named, not promoted.
Who identified DARVO
Dr. Jennifer J. Freyd, a research psychologist, introduced the concept in the 1990s while studying:
Betrayal trauma Sexual abuse disclosure Institutional cover-ups
She noticed that when victims spoke, a predictable response often followed:
deny → attack → reverse roles
Her work is grounded in victim psychology, not offender coaching.
Why people use DARVO
DARVO appears when:
Power is at risk Reputation matters more than truth Shame is intolerable Authority is challenged
It is instinctive, not strategic, in many people—especially those with:
Narcissistic traits Authoritarian worldviews Institutional protection Fragile self-concepts
The goal is not to prove innocence.
The goal is to confuse, exhaust, and silence.
How DARVO unfolds in real time
Here is the emotional sequence:
Disclosure happens – A truth enters the room. Threat is perceived – Not moral threat, but status threat. DARVO activates “That never happened.” (Deny) “You’re unstable / malicious / confused.” (Attack) “I’m the one being harmed by this accusation.” (Reverse) The audience wavers – Attention shifts from harm to tone. – The victim is now defending their sanity.
This is why DARVO is so damaging:
it weaponizes social doubt.
Who illustrates DARVO most clearly (not teaches it)
DARVO is best illustrated, not taught, by:
1. Abusers confronted by victims
Especially in cases of sexual, emotional, or familial abuse.
2. Institutions under scrutiny
Religious organizations Universities Military or intelligence agencies Corporations facing whistleblowers
The language becomes polished, legalistic, and impersonal—but the pattern remains identical.
3. Authoritarian political figures
When exposed, they:
Deny facts Attack journalists, survivors, or critics Claim persecution
This is DARVO scaled to a crowd.
Why victims often recognize DARVO late
Adult wisdom arrives when the nervous system finally feels safe enough to look back.
Early on:
Survival > clarity Silence > danger Compliance > punishment
Later:
Memory integrates Language returns The body says, “Now.”
That timing is not weakness.
It is neurobiological protection.
The most important thing to know
DARVO collapses when:
The pattern is named The focus is returned to original harm The victim refuses to argue character instead of facts
You do not defeat DARVO by debating it.
You defeat it by not entering its maze.
My Near Death Experience Arts and Thoughts 