Part 1. my Mother came through
So here’s my story. I went yesterday on Saturday , January 17, 26, to the Herb Smudge and Apothecary in Galveston, Tx, to hear the channeler, Misty, come through, and Christina, her partner, who did the teachings.
And I had no idea, honestly, that any of my relatives or anybody would come through. And in fact, I honestly thought if anybody came through, it would be my best friend Carla, who died in 2009. So, that’s who I was expecting to hear.
And so when Carla didn’t come through, I was kind of shocked to hear that Misty, the channeler, was talking about a very intelligent woman. What threw me is that Misty said she had kind hair in a 1950s bubble, and my mother didn’t wear a bubble. However, she was very tall and very thin, had always been thin, all of her life. And she had beautiful hair as she aged. She became quite lovely with age. But anyway, my mother came through. Misty said the woman was intelligent, and my mother was a college graduate, two times around. And she did taxes for the doctors and lawyers in Longview, Texas. She was politically gifted and was… Into the Republican Party in Longview when it wasn’t popular to be a Republican. She read constantly. She probably read four to five books a week all her life. She walked two miles every morning, and I think a mile or so in the afternoon. She played cards. One of the things that came through is that she played cards, and my mother was an avid card bridge player, and she played very well. So these were kind of things that were coming through. She played bridge. She was intelligent. She was educated. People came to her and asked her for advice. What threw me is I knew that people came to her for advice, but I, as a child when growing up, I never went to her because she and I had such huge conflict, but I knew other people went to her, but I never did, and so that kind of confused me at first, but then I realized what she was saying was how she saw herself in life, and yet I didn’t see her that way, but that’s how she saw herself, that she was a confidant for many people. And so, anyway, I realized, yeah, that’s, that’s probably her because of her self characterization. And she was that way for other people. She just, as I said, was not that for me. And so she came through and I felt somewhat similar as I did when I was younger, and resented the fact that others, including one of my best friends, saw her as compassionate. She was never compassionate regarding my young life. I was fearful of her. Misty asked, kind of asked, well, were, was there issues? I said, well, my mother liked me at the end of her life. However, during the first part of our life, my life, she and I were at total opposite ends and we fought constantly. And I said, in fact, when I was a young girl, I think I was 15 or 16 years old, 15, I think I was 15. I was raped, brutally raped by a boy from high school, and um it was not my first sexual experience, but I was brutally raped by this boy. And I was so upset that I went home and I drank a six-pack of beer. And because I drank that six-pack of beer, my parents threw me in a psychiatric hospital and I stayed in that hospital for a very long time, and I never spoke one word about the rape. I held it inside tightly and through the years blamed myself, thought somehow I encouraged it, and I accepted this untruth until I turned much older. I never told my mother about the rape and I never told anybody until I was 50 years old. It was less than 24 hours after the rape that my mother sent the boy a letter and apologized for me that I would not be able to go on another date with him that evening because of whatever she to,d him. I don’t know. She never told me what she said, but that she wrote a letter of apology. She took it upon herself to send him an apology. And that apology that she sent almost killed me all my life because I felt like she had betrayed me. I thought my mother blamed me just like I blamed myself. And it was just a further rift in our, you know, in our structure of mother and daughter. In fact, the boy was the son of a very wealthy owner of oil wells, and he was a football player, so he was just everything mother and daddy had hoped that I would bring home that one day maybe I might marry. So she sent him a letter and apologized, and I tell you, that letter almost killed me. That put even a huge rift between us. Again, I never told anybody. I was 50 years old when I finally told my sister and my sister’s sister-in-law, Ky, about the rape. And it was then that Ky told me she believed that his son ended up committing suicide. And karmically, I felt like, “okay, he got his, you know, he got his just reward”, though I was very sad that the son committed suicide and that he had such a horrible father. And that just almost killed me.
But anyway, in the meeting, I was tearful, and my mother came and she apologized to me immensely, and she said she was so sorry about that. And she asked me to forgive her, and I did. And I did cry about it when I got home last night. It’s kind of hard because it was still painful today looking back on it. I mean, many, many, many years of my life was spent with me feeling bad about myself and not having any self-esteem. I just never really accomplished what I could have in life because of my self esteem problems. And I think my self esteem issues because of the rape. I never had a good relationship with my mother or father. And so, anyway, the part with my mother ended, and then the reading went on with Misty, and I’ll pick up the rest of it in just a few minutes. I think I honestly hated both of them.
Yesterday, after the meeting, I cried again. But, I felt the peace coming from my mother to me. She was sending me enormous peace and love. I never felt her love before yesterday.
Part two coming up
My Near Death Experience Arts and Thoughts 